Devotion

On My Own
by Teresa Darnell

"Come unto me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11: 28-30 NIV

Over the past year, I have cried unto the Lord to lift my heavy burdens. I would sob and beg the Lord to give me rest. As I would leave the altar, I would take those burdens with me. How could I expect God to give me rest, if I refused to let Him carry my burdens for me?

I'm the type of woman that tries to handle everything on my own. You know, the "if I don't do it, it won't get done mentality. I take pride in being a strong, independent, take-charge kind of person. After all, that is what it takes to succeed in this world. Over the past few decades, women have been encouraged to take control of their own destiny. The changing roles in today's women have left little room for vulnerability. If they let someone see that side of them, that someone might think they are weak.

Jesus desires to see that vulnerable side of us. He delights in carrying those burdens for us, so that we may find rest. He wants us to be strong in Him. Just as our body requires rest to stay healthy and strong, our spirits require rest that only He can provide. To obtain this kind of strength, we have to learn to leave our burdens with Him and rest in His love.

This is one of the most important lessons that I have learned. I was forced to leave my cares at the altar and let go of them. He had to bring me to a place where I was forced to rest. In August of 1996, I was diagnosed with a disease called Autoimmune Hepatitis; I was told that I couldn't go back to work until my body was fully rested and my liver enzymes had returned to normal. I was devastated, especially since I had just began the job of my dreams. The one I had been praying for the past three years.

I cried out, "Lord, you know that I can't do this. I don't have time to rest. I just started my new job today and I can't miss that much school! We need the money. They might hire someone to replace me. I don't have job security, I'm a new employee! Lord, help me, I can't do this!"

I didn't have a choice, my body forced to rest. It was during that time of physical rest that I learned how to rest spiritually. I communed with God continuously. I read His Word and meditated on Him. He was able to show me that my stubborn pride was getting in the way. He could handle my burdens, if I would only let Him. I was forced to leave my burdens with Him because I was too tired to take care of them myself; He took care of everything. My Principal and co-workers were more than just understanding; they treated me like family. I returned back to school in October to group of eager students awaiting the arrival of their new teacher. He took care of everything better than I ever could have on my own.

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