My name is Amy Browning and I am a 23-year old reluctant housewife. I abhor dishes, laundry, cleaning, and most especially cooking. I am extremely non-domesticated, if that is a word, and I have often wondered if God made a mistake somewhere when he made me a mother at the age of 21.

I am a woman who loves romance, excitement, and the thrill of new places and things. I do not love dirty sheets, wet towels, and sticky chairs. But I am also content. This is a word that holds profound mystery and deep meaning for me. Content, to me, has always meant being happy and bubbly and carefree. Then my daughter came along. 

Glory Elisabeth Browning who is a 2-year old terror and inspiration all wrapped up in one little package. Glory who is a responsibility I had not expected and was not prepared for. I was not married when I became pregnant and my life changed drastically when I married, we joined the military, and had a baby all in 8 months. I never desired to be a stay at home mother and yet when Glory was born we made the decision that it was important for me to do that. That's when God began to teach me contentment. 

I spent the first 6 months wallowing in depression and anger and guilt. I was depressed to be at home all the time and have no friends. I was angry because I knew I had brought it on myself and I was guilt ridden because I had failed. I had failed in my quest to get a college degree and have a ministry. I had failed in my quest to live an upstanding and pure life and I had failed my daughter because I was not happy being home. It was a heavy load to bear and eventually I couldn't carry it anymore. 

That was when I learned to hand it over the Father who forgives and forgets and delights in carrying our burdens for us. He stepped in and took it away from me. I felt a new sense of joy and happiness. Although I knew that feelings wouldn't last I resolved to learn to be content whatever I was feeling. Despite my loathing for domestic things I learned to be content. When I ruined yet another dinner or load of laundry still I was content. When I had to learn to fight fair and submit to a husband I was content. Contentment became not a feeling but a state of mind that says I am where God has put me and I am making the best of it with His help. 

Contentment says that even if something is not what I would have chosen I will still do my best and learn all I can. It is something that has become my life's creed. I do not have to feel happy and I do not have to be the perfect housewife or mother to be content where I am. I love my daughter and my husband in ways that I could never have imagined and I love my God with my whole being. I have learned to be a mother and give of myself with joy to the greatest responsibility that I could ever have.

For a time I thought that I had failed God but He is the God of second chances and the God who forgives and forges new ministries and new desires. I am in ministry all the time now. I am a mother. I am a wife. I am Amy Browning and I am a reluctant housewife who has learned that reluctance is not a sin and that contentment brings blessings beyond belief. 

About the Author

Amy Browning is a young stay-at-home mom.  E-mail her at browning@iland.net.