Fairy Tales have always been one of my favorite types of stories. There is something so satisfying about the happy ending, the perfect wrap up, the absence of problems and pain. When I hear the words "and they lived happily ever after" I breathe a sigh of contentment and put the book away safe in the knowledge that all is right in the world. Except that one day I realized that world was not a real one.

On October 1, 1997 I got married and heard echoing in my own head those perfect words "and they lived happily ever after". As I walked down the aisle I could almost see Cinderella and Snow White cheering me on. They were smiling and they were laughing and I just knew I had entered the fairy tale world that all women dream of finding. Now I have a sneaking suspicion they were laughing at me, not with me. That maybe they were laughing because there is no perfect "happily ever after". There is the honeymoon and then there is life. And quite possibly life isn't that fairy tale I had dreamed about for so long.

For instance, is the prince supposed to leave his clothes all over the floor? Is he supposed to track mud in right after the floors have been mopped? And mopping.what fairy tale princess has ever had to do so much house cleaning? Is the castle supposed to be so messy? It was, after all, just cleaned yesterday. Perhaps, however, none of these things are insurmountable. Because it is the romance that keeps the marriage fresh. It is the romance that lends an air of mystery and excitement. But if this is also true then why is the prince asleep in front of the couch after a hard day of work and why is the princess rushing around trying to finish the laundry and do the dishes?

Could it be that marriage was not destined to be a dream come true? Could it be that we aren't the perfect couple after all? This was a staggering blow to my naïve mind and heart. It is the realization that things aren't always perfect. There are money problems, there are busy schedules to work with, there are family problems, and there is the pain that must sometimes occur when two lives are being melded together as one.

After 2 years of marriage I learned one thing and one thing only that has been the deciding factor in this union of two very different people. I have learned that my prince is never going to change. I have spent so many days and hours trying to mold him into my idea of a truly romantic guy who is as understanding as a woman and as sensitive as my best female friend. I have tried to make him see the reality of PMS and the totally understandable chocolate cravings and mood swings that are trademarks of my life for (at least) one week out of the month. I have tried to encourage him to buy flowers and continue to court me in the way I wanted. I have told him again and again how much I love cards and romance and special evenings together.

For some reason, though, he never changed and in the process I almost missed the incredible man that I had married. I almost missed the man who got up in the middle of the night to help with the baby and the man who joined the Air Force in order to make sure he could support us. I almost missed the man who works as hard as he can every day to be the best husband and father possible. I almost never realized that my man has become the strongest man I know and that he is the same man who never notices if I gain weight or get a bad haircut. He even helps with the grocery shopping and feeds the dog every morning.

He may not be the romantic prince of my fairy tale dreams but he is the flesh and blood hero of my everyday existence. He has proven his love over and over again and more importantly he has proven his commitment to me and to our family. When the feelings aren't there or things are too busy to have quality time together I know that he isn't going anywhere and that we are committed for life. I

It is this assurance that makes me wonder if maybe Cinderella and Snow White were laughing for another reason. Maybe they were laughing because they too have learned that husbands aren't perfect and wives aren't either but in the design of marriage it doesn't matter. Perfection is not the key, commitment is.

Our commitment to love, honor ,and cherish each other despite the problems, the pain, and the trials that every life is filled with. Now when friends who are about to be married ask for advice I know what to say. I tell them that fairy tales aren't real and prince charming isn't perfect but that if they want a happy marriage they will accept the prince exactly the way he is and learn to look closer at the things that really matter. Love poems are nice, dates are fun, and flowers are beautiful but they aren't the important things.

The important things are building a strong foundation on God and a friendship with each other that embraces each others differences and strengthens each others weaknesses. There is no perfect man but in this third year of marriage I have learned that love doesn't have to be perfect to be it's own special brand of "happily ever after". As I once again approach the anniversary of our marriage I cannot help but be excited at the thought of what this incredible journey called marriage has in store for us. I also cannot help but wonder if any other woman in the world is as lucky as I am to have married such a prince?

About the Author

Amy Browning is a young stay-at-home mom.  E-mail her at browning@iland.net.