Marriage

Keep the Home Fires Burning
by David L. Brown 

(6) ROMANCE

The sixth suggestion I offer you is, keep romance alive in your relationship. Some will say, "Oh come on now, you don't ever find romance mentioned in the Bible."

To be sure, the word "romance" does not appear in the Bible, but illustrations of it do. Read The Song Of Solomon or the story of Ruth and Boaz as recorded in the Old Testament Book of Ruth. There you will find romance in all of its purity and excitement.

Did you know that the absence of romantic love is on the top of the heap= as a source of depression among married women? Dr. James Dobson says, "A man can be contented with a kind of business partnership in marriage, provided sexual privileges are a part of the arrangement. As long as the wife prepares dinner each evening, is reasonably amiable, and doesn't nag him during football season, he can be satisfied." But that is not the case with the wife! She yearns to be her husband's Special Sweetheart. She would likely trade the new TV, her dishwasher or just about anything for a single expression of genuine tenderness and attention that does not have to be "paid for" with sex.

A wise husband will take his wife on dates, remember anniversaries and special days. He will write her love notes or get her a small gift for no special reason.

A word of wisdom to the wives. Don't neglect your husbands. Husbands appreciate love notes too. He wants you to be "sexy" for him just as much as you want him to be romantic with you.

If you want to keep the home fires burning men, you will stimulate romance in your relationship. Ladies, if you want to have a warm marital relationship you will not treat your physical obligation to your husband as a "necessary evil."

There is one final suggestion I want to share with you. It focuses on the spiritual aspect of your relationship.

(7) ACTIVE SPIRITUAL INVOLVEMENT

The kind of self-giving love needed to sustain a marriage relationship cannot be generated merely by personal desire, but it is available. The logical question is, "What is the source?" The answer is, "It is available from God, through his Son, Jesus Christ."

The Bible says in I John 4:8, "God is love." In order to tap into the reservoir of God's love a person must believe on Jesus Christ. The moment you put your faith in Christ, Romans 5:5 tells us, "...the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." At that moment God gives you the desire and the power to initiate the self-giving love needed to sustain your marriage.

Simply stated, spiritual involvement begins with personal faith in the risen Savior, Jesus Christ. Have you ever prayed, admitting to God that you are a sinner? Have you ever asked the Lord to forgive your sins? Have you ever told Christ you believe he died for your sins and arose from the dead? Have you ever personally invited Christ to come into your life and be your Savior from the guilt, penalty and power of sin? If not, why not do it right now. You could pray something like this...

Dear Lord Jesus, I confess that I am a sinner. Please forgive me for all my sins. I believe the Bible which says you died to pay for my sins. I believe you arose from the dead and are alive today. Please come into m life this very moment and be my personal Savior. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Amen.

If you just prayed that prayer and believe what you prayed, Christ is now your Savior. That's where spiritual involvement begins. The next step is to get involved in a good, solid, Bible preaching church. That is important to your marriage and a study done by a University of Virginia sociologist supports that fact. The study found that couples who attend church regularly are 42% more likely to still be married for the first time than those couples who don't attend church. In addition, reading the Bible and praying together regularly is important if you are going to keep the home fires burning.

Wouldn't you agree that the warmth of being in love beats the coldness of a utilitarian relationship? If so, get busy and start stoking the fire with the fuel... Caring Companionship, Complete Commitment, Charitable Communication, Expressing Appreciation, Responsibility and Forgiveness, Romance, and Active Spiritual Involvement.

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About the Author

David L. Brown is the Pastor of a Baptist Church in the Milwaukee, Wisconsin area. He and his wife Linda have enjoyed 20 years of marriage. They have three children.