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Marriage
Seven Hints for Preserving an Exciting, Warm Marriage There are some wonderful things you just don't forget about your childhood. One of those pleasant memories was hurrying down to the kitchen on cold winter mornings and feeling the warm floor under my cold feet. The century old home that we lived in was well kept and roomy but not very well insulated. I had an upstairs bedroom and in the winter it got plenty cool by the time morning came. The worst part was getting out from under the pile of blankets and putting my bare feet on the cold floor. I did not waste any time getting to the kitchen because we knew the Round Oak wood stove in the basement would be fired up and the floors would be warm. I sure enjoyed the warmth. It was wonderful. But it did not come about without effort. My dad cut and split wood regularly throughout the year. It was my job to carry the wood to the basement. Dad would start the fire before he went to work and mom would put wood on the fire to keep it going. As I think back, it took a lot of effort to keep that fire going, but it was worth it considering the alternative...cold feet! We all enjoyed the warmth and so we did our part to keep the home fires burning. Keeping the fire going in the wood stove is much like keeping the love alive in your marriage, it does not "just happen." You have to work at it. You must add fuel to the "love fires" to keep them burning.= Unfortunately, married folks are forgetting that and it is evident. One survey says "6 of every 12 marriages become loveless, utilitarian relationships sustained to protect children, property, shared careers and other business interests." In other words, COLD! A cold, utilitarian relationship does not appeal to me! A WARM, LOVING RELATIONSHIP ranks high on my list of priorities. How about you? If you want to kindle the coals of love in your marriage relationship, the following suggestions will add fuel to the fire. It will take effort, but when you consider the alternative it is worth it! (1) CARING COMPANIONSHIP Psychologist Norman Wright said, "...within each of us is the hunger for contact, acceptance, belonging, intimate exchange, responsiveness, support, love and the touch of tenderness." A caring partner can fill that need so we do not have to feel lonely. God planned it that way when he created Adam. Genesis 2:18 says, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." Simply stated, God made Adam a companion suited for him. Neither a beautiful environment nor a variety of animals would fill the bill. Marriage, right from the start, was to be a relationship based on mutual, caring companionship. It is not a dictator- doormat relationship. Paul makes this clear when he begins talking about husband and wife relationships by saying "submitting yourselves one to another..." in Ephesians 5:21. Couples who want to keep the home fires burning will make time for each other and that time will be quality time. Be sure to talk together, work together on projects of mutual interest, play together, dream together. When I was dating my wife to be, we saw each other every chance we could. We worked opposite shifts which made things difficult but NOT impossible. The key was we made time for each other. Too often, after the knot has been tied, the wife is left isolated. The husband is off at work or with the boys while the wife is working, keeping up with the kids, and minding "the castle." Wise couples will carve out time to be with each other. They will make nurturing their relationship a prime priority despite the job obligations, children, community and church commitments. WHY? Caring for each other and being with each other is the fuel that keeps the relationship warm. There is a second suggestion I want to share with you that will keep your marriage warm...
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