 |
||
|
Marriage When is Divorce Good? (cont'd) TRANSITION PERIOD Just as Jesus instructed His followers to wait for the promise of the Holy Spirit in Jerusalem (Acts 1:4-5), so suddenly single people should go through a period of covenantal transition. During transition, what are they to do? Prayerfully wait. The passage of time allows for inner healing and washing away of the effects of the death that the divorced person has experienced. I felt a deep grief about the death of my marriage and the loss of what I had once thought to be a good life. WHAT ABOUT REMARRIAGE? A tall, dark, handsome Christian man in his forties whom I'll call Bob was married. His wife died after a lengthy illness. He started attending socials for singles, obviously enjoying the refreshments and potluck dinners. At one singles meeting he made it clear that he would never marry a woman who had been divorced. He was looking only for a woman who was a widow or who had never been married. Women present at this meeting were not worthy of his consideration? His stance came across as arrogant because his spouse had died and theirs were still physically alive somewhere in the world. Now over ten years later, Bob remains tall, dark, handsome, and still single. Is Bob correct when he sentences innocent women to a lifetime alone because they are divorced? According to Jesus' statement in Matthew, for people who divorce for reasons other than something that falls under the broad cause of fornication, remarriage is adultery. The converse is then implied: for a person who divorces for an acceptable reason, remarriage is lawful and valid. Any single woman knows the strain of making all the decisions, large ones about finances, small ones about when to replace a bald tire. Ministers might say, "God is your husband now, dear." But God doesn't run out to the grocery store just before bedtime to get a gallon of milk for breakfast the next morning when the kids unexpectedly consumed what Mom thought would last a few more days. No, she has to bundle up the kids, get in the car, drive to the store, walk to the back of the grocery section to find the milk, and then pay for it. If God said in Genesis that it is not good for a man to live alone, how much more unthinkable is it for a woman to live alone? Remarriage, however, should be based on the equally yoked principle given throughout the Bible, i.e., God's people are to be united with other believers. To sum up, Covenant is established by mutual agreement -- Sins are committed against the spouse = sins against God -- death of covenant -- divorce -- transition period -- opportunity for new covenant for innocent party/opportunity for repentance or judgment of guilty party Greater knowledge of the covenant model has put to rest for me the dark spots of confusion I felt when Christians condemned me for filing for divorce. My mind as well as my heart are settled. I sat on the wooden bench outside the old, quaint courtroom awaiting my final divorce hearing. I was alone because my only remaining friend had recently moved out of town. A woman with her husband was also waiting in the corridor for some other kind of legal procedure. She paced apprehensively in front of me. She stopped and said to me, "You're waiting all alone." I answered, "Yes, but it's all right. I don't feel alone." She didn't know that from early morning, the Holy Spirit had been singing continuously in my heart. Over and over He sang the old song, "Somebody's praying for you? I can feel it." To this day I don't know who was praying for me, but that sweet song carried me through. "Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:1 NIV)."
Sandy Fiedler is a freelance Christian writer. She lives in Texas with her husband and 16-year-old daughter. The rest of her children are grown. She is a former high school English teacher; however, she has been homeschooling her daughter for the past two and on-half years. Her articles have been accepted by Lutheran Woman Today, Angels on Earth, Wesleyan Woman, and Single-Parent Family. You can email Sandy at: quietday@flash.net |
|
|