Family Life

Measuring Our Motives
by Nancy K. Brown

I’ve always been fascinated with the story of Mary and Martha. No matter how many times I read the account, my sympathies always seem to be drawn to the hard-working older sister. I guess that’s because I’m a Martha.

In her quest to meet the day-to-day needs of those around her, Martha put everything she had into her tasks. I can almost imagine what it must have been like on the day Jesus came to visit. She probably planned the perfect meal and spent hours at the market choosing just the right items to complete her menu.

No one could call this lady lazy, and nothing was left undone when Martha’s hand was in it. Her energy and resourcefulness are to be admired. And yet, the account in Luke reveals a shortcoming in this meticulous homemaker—and it’s one we all share.

As she waded through her long list of chores, something happened to Martha—she lost her focus. In her struggle to make everything perfect, she suddenly came to despise the very work that had once brought her joy. Then, instead of being an act of selflessness, hers degenerated into a state of self-pity.

Poor Martha. As her anger raged, she lashed out at her sister Mary, who had been able to lay aside her duties for the pleasure of sitting at the Master’s feet. We can understand Martha’s frustration, and we tend to side with her. That’s because we, too, get caught-up in the duty of doing. We forget the satisfaction that comes in simply spending time listening to those we love.

As she mulled over her displeasure, Martha’s anger welled up, and she turned to the Lord in frustration and cried, “Don’t you care!”

I must confess—I do the same thing.

But why? Where do these awful feelings come from? They come from an inner motivation that has shifted from a deep desire to serve, to one that dwells on self and on what others should be doing for us.

Martha’s problem wasn’t in the nature of her work. The problem was that her point of reference had become distorted, which, in turn, brought an attitude change. With the change in attitude came a change in motivation and a change in outlook.

Every day, our lives are filled with a whole host of duties that must be done. And yet, as we scurry along on life’s treadmill of perpetual motion, are we like Martha? Have we forgotten the things that are the most important?
It’s easy to do, especially when the frustrations of one day build upon those from the day before. Our outlook can quickly become clouded, and those things that were once our greatest source of joy can suddenly become our utmost cause of contention. The satisfaction of serving soon disappears, and former delights turn to unrelenting resentments.

None of us will deny that a life defined by constant giving can be difficult. Nor will we deny that there are times when all we really want is to be left alone. But we have been given a high calling, and God has entrusted a tremendous blessing upon us in the lives of those we love.

Instead of loosing heart, as Martha did, let’s maintain a constant vital over our thoughts and emotions. Meeting the needs of others was meant to be a joy and blessing, not a burden or a bother. When frustrations rise and activities escalate, let’s guard against selfish intentions and remember to measure our motives.

About the Author

Nancy K. Brown is nearing completion of a Professional Writing degree from Taylor University in Fort Wayne, IN. She works as the public relations coordinator at Dynamic Resource Group, a publishing company in Berne, IN.

Nancy's work has been published in Standard, Purpose, War Cry, The Secret Place, The Upper Room, Quaker Life, Senior Musician, Spiritual Voice, Right to the Heart of Women, and Storyteller. She also writes book reviews for Christian Book Previews and Church Libraries.

Nancy lives with her husband, Sam, and two children, Serena and Justin.