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Family Life Live in Peace Paula and her family were off on their vacation trip. Before they had gone far, Paula's husband reached down and brought up an unopened box of lemon cookies. "Where'd you get that?" Paula asked. "Bought it, of course," her husband said. "You know I love lemon cookies!" "What are you going to do with it?" she third-degreed. "I have an open box here. We ought to use these first so they don't get stale!" Her husband glowered at her and ripped open the top of his box. Paula's first inclination was to rip open her husband with her tongue. Then she caught herself. She had become aware of her nagging recently. All it had ever brought had been dissension between herself and her husband. She remembered the last time they had gone on vacation. When she had started to nag then, he had turned around and headed for home. PEACE WINS Her heart was in turmoil. She wanted so badly to say something, but then she realized the temptation was from Satan. The verse came to her, "Greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world." She decided to keep her mouth shut. Her husband sat happily munching on his cookies as they drove along. Soon he was making jovial remarks again. An incident that could have ruined their vacation passed over, because Paula was trying to live for the Lord. Since her husband wasn't a Christian, she also wanted him to see Christ in her. What did a half-finished box of lemon cookies matter compared to peace and an unmarred Christian testimony? In his book, "The Psychology of Counseling," Dr. Clyde M. Narramore says, "Because of the complexities of marriage there are many causes of friction and unhappiness." No doubt fussing about little things is near the top of the list! It seems almost ludicrous that such an insignificant thing as a box of cookies could start a big quarrel that would cause ill feelings and ruin a trip that should be enjoyable. But actually, aren't many of our arguments over things that are inconsequential? The Bible says that a proud-hearted person stirs up strife" (Proverbs 28:25). Humility and self-control are fruit of the Spirit, and they can help us to keep our mouths shut when we feel the urge to nag. The love that also comes from the Spirit will lead us to pray about something in someone else that bothers us. Unfortunately, the only ones we feel free to nag are those who are closest to us! The Bible says that a continual dripping on a rainy day and a cranky person are much alike (Proverbs 27:15). This verse is applicable to everyone. Husbands and wives, mothers and fathers--all of us may be guilty of nagging without realizing it. We drone on and on, wearing the hearer down and provoking quarrels. Nagging can drive the victim to rage and rebellion. The Bible tells fathers that they are not to provoke their children to wrath" (Ephesians 6:4). Who knows how many children have been driven into sin because their insensitive parents keep harping on little things? Who knows how many husbands have been driven away, how many wives have come to despise their husbands because of nagging? HOW TO OVERCOME NAGGING It's such a easy little fault to fall into, but how do we get out of it? The first step is to become aware that we are nagging. Actually, most of us nag without realizing what we're doing. It's just a bad habit. Instead of stating our complaint and then shutting up, we go on and on and on. (In some cases, it might be best not even to voice the initial complaint.) What can we do about those faults and seemingly erroneous doings we see in others? We can pray. It only takes a moment to seek God's guidance. His Holy Spirit indwells those who are Christians, and His Word convicts us along with His Spirit and helps us to say the right things or to avoid saying the wrong things. Just by pausing to pray, pausing to consider the unpleasantness our words and our actions might cause may make the difference between suffering through a day of turmoil or enjoying a day of peace and contentment. Furthermore, the atmosphere we set in our homes--be it positive or negative--will have an effect on every member of our household. SCRIPTURE HELPS TO MEMORIZE "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" (Romans 12:18). "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone" (Colossians 4:6). "Keep your tongue from evil. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it" (Psalm 34:13-14). Dr. Muriel Larson serves as an E-Mail counselor to troubled people all over the world for online magazines "Christian Women Today" and "Women Today." She is a long-time professional writer, has 17 books, more than 8,000 first and reprint writings, and 50 songs published. She has taught at writers' conferences and serves as a church pianist. Visit Dr. Larson online at: http://www.advicedrmuriel.blogspot.com
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THE DANGERS OF NAGGING